When I first thought of doing this programme 2008, I thought it would be fun and games. I will be honest. I often used to ask myself, why can't we let people living with HIV just have fun, and forget for a while. Now that I am conducting field interviews, meeting ordinary people on the streets that don't have much voice, I understand.
When I conduct interviews I make sure I approach men, who often hide what they really feel. I want to hear what is their take on issues. I also make sure I target someone who will rarely call the studio. Therefore that means I talk to street vendors, taxi drivers and street sweepers. First of all I am humbled by the conditions they live under. I am motivated by their passion for life. Lastly, I am educated by their views on sex, relationships and HIV/AIDS.
It is enlightening talking to grown men who believe having multiple partners is not a big issue. The idea behind that is that, "as Amazulu, we can have as many partners as we want, that what polygamy is about. Having sex with those women without a condom is a must, because I trust them and they are MINE. If one of them goes out and gets infected, well, too bad". Majority of my brothers and fathers feel thay way, those who believe in polygamy. Some have seen a female condom which they dislike, others even pledge that, "I will stick my finger in there and take it out. I know that big sack". As a woman I listen as I cross my legs almost feeling the discomfort.
I laugh hysterically as women tell how they know the condom is broken, "I know, things starts getting too sweet. I then tell him, wait, it is getting too nice, this thing is broken". As much as we enjoy making love, the condom has become part of the moans and passion in the moment. I sigh with relief afterwards relieved that, at least she can talk about it. One woman said with pride "sex with a condom is neat and clean. When you are done, you have no sex juices". Wow, I have never looked at it like that, good to note.
I am touched by a good looking brother, with a beautiful smile, starting at me with fear when I asked him why has he never done an HIV test. He looks away and says, "I don't know. I guess I am afraid. I think I might even kill myself when it comes back positive. Who can I tell? Who will support me?". It was like someone has kicked me in the stomach. That statement achoed for all the men and women afraid to test. There is no strong support sytem. The reason I wanted to start this show. Share the love. Caring for other people. For the first time in a long run, I am proud of what I do. I can do this everyday of my life.
